These Boots Were Made For Walking....

If you are reading this, then i am going to presume that u have not heeded my warning and have chosen to continue torturing your self.
though i must admit reading the blog is much safer than actually having to hear me out, so if you are overcome with a blinding rage caused by frustation after reading this then i suggest the following simple steps to regain your composure.

1) open the closest window.
2) fling your laptop out of it.
3) take a deep breath and count to ten.
4) take a brisk walk to the closest Internet cafe and order a new laptop on eBay.

some people might also recommend tai chi , but i strongly advise against it cos i don't want you falling asleep while going about its painfully slow and exaggeratedly freeze frame motions and falling on your posterior. watching people doing tai chi is like watching people taking a bath in ultra slow mo . so can't have you folks doing bodily harm to yourself when i could derive the satisfaction of being one inflicting it.


yes now getting back to my title. "These boots were made for walkin" crooned by miss Jessica Simpson, who introduced  miss Nancy Sinatra to the concept of imitation being the best form of flattery, by lifting her song verbatim. thankfully though miss Simpson was inspired only by the lyrics and not by miss Sinatra's dressing of the 60's and made the song and boots her own.

why am i going on and on about boots, you ask me ? i'll tell you why. these boots may have been made for walking but were never sold in the united states!!! cos NOBODY WALKS HERE!!!

NOW I know why people make a big hoo haa of babies taking their first steps, its a very short phase after that they just jump into cars and drive away !!! off course people walk here , but if u pay close attention, u will infer that they are either walking towards or away from a car.

why walk you ask? why not i ask. the place is beautiful, lush green rolling hills with twisty windy roads, the air is clean. though the main reason being i haven't passed my wife's driving test yet :) .

the only ones whom i share the footpath with (if i find one that is,i have had to use google maps to search them out ) seem to be the homeless or raccoons  i decided to walk on a jogging trail but soon got tired of people vaulting over me, after fifteen minutes of being treated as a mobile steeple chase hurdle i finally gave up and crawled my way back home through the bushes and drains.

if i were to tell my wife "i am going to go and wrestle a bear with my bare hands luv!!!" she would casually say " sure honey, will you please buy some cilantro on your way home please! ". but if i were to say " i am gonna walk home from the library luv! ", i would send the poor girl into a panic and have her visiting the temple to pray for my safe return. because she is scared i would Look left when i should be looking right (pun unintended) and find myself splattered across somebodies windshield like a bug on a highway. kind of reminds me of the traffic sign i saw in India which read " if everything is coming your way, you are in the wrong lane". touche'
 
don't get me started with the signal thingamgic at pedestrian crossing, you punch it and you wait.... nothing happens then an element of doubt creeps in if u used the right amount of pressure, so you punch it again and then three more times for added measures, finally the cross the road signal lights up... and lo behold it is not green but  hyperspace silver, the first time i saw one i did a double take and looked at the drivers half expecting them to cheerily wave me along.
A week in, i have finally figured it out, in America "pedestrian is king".... "pedestrians have right of way" but on the downside, as you are the king, they don't expect you to walk (royalties don't walk they glide along in horse driven carriages).

i dread to think of what would happen to good 'ol Archimedes if he were to run on the streets here in his birthday suit shouting EUREKA......EUREKA!!!. he would be promptly run over by a few cars a station wagon and a prius . then he would have two charges of indecent exposure slapped on him and one charge of obstructing traffic, he would find him self in jail faster than he could say buoyancy, where i  believe there are no bath tubs and dropping of the soap can be injurious to ones posterior.

if you still haven't decided to quit reading this blog , here's something that might help seal the deal.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AYj9-96HYPk

Megadeath in their not so finest !!! :O

(pictures politely stolen from wikipedia.)